Any sense of entitlement you may of had is about to get crushed.
The entitlement mentality strips us of our bonding power, ability to be intrinsically happy, and the willpower to take responsibility for things that may of actually happened because of us.
Whether we want to believe it or not, you are not entitled to anything on this earth. Sure, you might think we are all deservant of freedom and privacy (and I agree), but when it comes a game of “it’s their fault” or “I deserve it” for no other reason than because you believe it to be true; this is where a sense of entitlement comes from.
Let’s take a step back and think about some common things you may easily find yourself feeling entitled to (for no true reason other than what we believe to be true). This is an example of an entitlement (or a few):
- Demanding a “thank you” after doing something for someone (sure it’s a given, but who are you to demand?)
- Partaking in double-standards (for example if you are late it shouldn’t be an issue, but when someone else is it’s an issue)
- Expected respect for no reason other than “you are you” (I have an entirely different belief on respect and how it should be given, but that’s something you’d have to ask me about!)
- Harsh words for someone who didn’t do something exactly how you would of done it (e.g they did you a favor, but it wasn’t to your standards)
- and many, many, MANY more
Besides these, to define the entitlement mentality; it is known as a way of thinking that believes things are automatically owed to one without any solid reasoning behind it.
Now, do I believe this is mentality is one that can be fixed?
Sure do, but 95% of you won’t.
Sounds harsh? Well, it’s the truth.
Many of those with this mentality will go their entire lives thinking they are right and everyone else not in agreement with their every decision is the wrong one. In fact, this delusional way of thinking is what will keep them from ever changing. But, who am I to say their way of thinking is wrong? Very true statement, and I don’t particularly believe I am saying a specific thought of someone is ever invalid, but rather a mentality in which brings down others is the issue. See, when someone is around a person with the entitlement mindset for long enough; they start to believe they are right and what you do is actually the wrong way. This is how the cycle continues over and over and spreads like wildfire.
You’ve got to make it through this post (trust me, it’s not that hard to stick it through to the end!), make the conscious decision to say you are done with this toxic mindset, and start working on ridding it out of your life.
In addition to that, don’t make it for anyone else (unless you have children, make it about them too). Instead, realize that this mentality is not a winning one and it will only keep you far away from everything any person wants in life (which is health, wealth, and happiness).
Phew.. I think I got a lot of there already and we haven’t even gotten started yet. Let’s cover some more generic signs of the entitlement. Here they are, and they are a little more descriptive than that short list I did above on what entitlement is:
1. You treat those who don’t do what you want and exactly how you want; badly. Either by putting them down, gossiping, or a range of other “punishments.”
2. Feeling as if you are automatically a priority in any given situation for no apparent reason.
3. You are self-serving and will do whatever it takes to get what you want, even if that means at the expense of others.
4. Letting things go that are inevitable to let go is difficult, more-so than normal. Especially towards material items.
5. Negotiating and compromising is rarely something you will do. This is especially true when the negotiations are against you.
6. You believe that you deserve automatic respect at all times. Even if you have done something wrong to someone else, you still believe respect should be given.
7. Attention is a must. If you don’t get it, you seek it with an attitude that you are deservant of it.
8. You assert a sense of superiority over others on predefined biases that you have set.
9. People seem to always be in opposition with you, more-so when you involve yourself.
10. You have a need to be involved in everything. From what your neighbor is doing to who someone is talking to on the phone.
11. You always see others as a threat or “competition” that you need to beat.
12. You believe your needs and wants are more important than others and you believe they should be met, even at the expense of others needs and wants.
13. It’s a common thing for you to set unrealistic expectations on people you know. And if / when they don’t meet them, you shame them.
14. If you have kids: You feel that because you gave birth to them means you own them and they “owe” you something.
15. You indulge in the victim mentality in nearly every bad thing that happens to you.
16. You set double standards. For example; if you don’t answer the phone it’s fine but if someone misses your call; the hell with them!
17. Taking is something you frequent much more then giving.
18. You take much, much more than you give in relationships.
19. You believe the government owes you something for being its citizen in excess of the basic human rights of all humans (also known as government entitlement).
Relate to any of these signs or anything similar? No worries, if you’ve gotten this far you are probably very interested in the recovery from this mentality.
Now I am going to list 9 practical ways you can overcome this false sense of entitlement you’ve been lead to believe is true in your life.
1. Try not to act on actions you can identify as “entitled actions”
Identifying “entitled actions” is rather simple if you are serious about overcoming the entitlement complex. It can be done by reading the signs above, understanding the core meaning of entitlement, and being consciously aware of it throughout the day.
Whenever you catch yourself partaking in something that may be defined as an act of entitlement, “suppress” it. I believe this will work the same way as not acting on your anger. While yes, suppressing anger will cause issues down the road if you don’t deal with it, you need to find a way to deal with your entitlement. How can you do this? Look for the answer in #2!
2. Deal with your entitlement, face to face
Dealing with your entitlement can be a surefire way to kick it in the throat, which will make it run out of your life for good.
Realizing that by acting with a sense of entitlement throughout your life will do nothing but attract bad people and events towards you and push away good people and events away. This in and of itself can sway a lot of people who truly understand the issues this mentality can bring to ones life. Once you face it, understand and be entirely aware you suffer from this mentality, and then most importantly take the actions to overcome it; you will have passed this tip to overcoming it.
From there, you will surely find use out of the other tips on this post..
3. Step into the shoes of whomever you are dealing with
Feel as if someone (or something) owes you something? Step into their shoes with an open mind and try to understand their thoughts behind it all.
You may just find out through this exercise that they may be perceiving the situation in a different way (for whatever reason) and it will open you to understanding why you are in fact not owed jack shit.
4. Find a solution for yourself
Think about a person on government aid, the thought without it in their present mindset is near unthinkable. But, if they were to try to get out of it and no longer rely on aid (which is in deed NOT owed to anyone), they may realize that in hindsight they didn’t really need it as they believed once before.
By overcoming your struggles on your own, you may just realize in hindsight that you are in control of everything in your life and it is up to you to own up to it and change it because lets be honest, no one else will (nor do they have to).
5. Entitlement brings negativity (you must understand…)
You must understand that being entitled will continue this seemingly never ending negativity from your life.
Every time you take part in entitled thoughts / actions, you bring along a lot of complaining, blaming, and lots of negativity.
If you want to rid negativity from your life (at least internally), you can’t partake in such mentality. Understanding this may just give you the kick you need to running away from this mentality which only leads to pessimism.
6. Cut it out of relationships
Entitlement in relationships can tear apart a relationship. Whether it be a significant other or friends and family, relationships go both ways and if you take way more than you give; you are not in an equal relationship.
You must give the same (or more) as you get. Without an equal trade, it will never sustain itself and eventually will die out.
7. Don’t allow yourself to bring others down
Having a feeling of entitlement can actually hurt those you care about most.
By being entitled you make those around you slowly believe in either one of two ways:
1: That you are not someone they really like to be around
2: They are filled with lies that mostly consist of believing that this is a good way of life (hint: it’s not).
Both of these outcomes are really of no benefit to anyone because in the end; it will never lead to happiness internally or for those around you. On top of that, it is seriously not a great way to act and will ultimately only push people in your life away from you.
Care about the people you are around the most? Realize this, realize its on you to change otherwise they will change how often they are around you.
8. Entitled behavior leads to a dead end
I truly believe that no one that has achieved high levels of success are entitled. Or at the very least, they did not get to where they are with that type of mentality.
The reasoning behind this is a sense of entitlement will lead you to believing success should be handed to you. In turn, this prevents you from taking action and working on building it for yourself.
If you want to achieve success in life, you must work for it. If you don’t and believe that it is owed to you, when you are on your death bed without any signs of success in sight, you will have wished you worked for it rather than prayed and hoped it came your way (hint: if you haven’t caught it by now, it won’t!).
9. Remove those with entitlement thinking from your daily life
You become who you are around.
No matter if you are 5, 15, 25, or 55; you will form to the people you spend the most time with.
Believe it or not, I truly believe that pessimism and negativity is a much more “contagious” trait than say optimism and positivity is. Thus, no matter how optimistic or positive you try to be, that one pessimistic or negative person in your life will fight it and more often than not; “win.”
This is why you must separate yourself for your own good (and theirs) if you want to get rid of entitlement behavior from your life entirely. Now, avoiding this can be hard especially in a place which is consumed by a culture of entitlement. This could be your family, roommates, or even workplace. Avoiding it can be hard, and while you may not be able to 100%; try as best as you can.
Whether that means denying their thoughts from entering you or physical limitations, you must find what you can do. It is after all, for your own good. Be selfish for once and cut it from your life.
Sure, you may read through this and claim “oh that isn’t me at all, but I do know someone who is,” re-look at yourself. Yeah you might be right, and if that is the case then you should direct them to this article in a kind and receptive way (that is, if you care about them).
But, sometimes it may not be the case. The most difficult thing to get people with entitlement issues to do is admit their is something up. Some people will read this, lie to themselves about the truth (or even worse, not be aware of it), and push it away as if it doesn’t apply to them. For those people, I don’t wish for anything but you to reread the “symptoms” and signs of this mentality and be honest with yourself, much like you would with your doctor. Don’t hold anything back. The truth might hurt, but if you become aware then you can take the actions to overcome it. Otherwise, you may be leaving out happiness in your life.
With that said, I hope this entire post has been helpful for you and anyone you share it with. But before you go, I’ve got one question:
“Why do you believe (or not) that pessimism and negativity is much stronger than say optimism and positivity is?”