It’s agreeable that it’s much easier to blame something, or someone, when something negative in life comes our way.
But when something good, whether it’s fortune, health, or really anything; we don’t blame someone else. We take all the credit and even talk about how awesome we are doing.
The problem with this mentality, also known as the victim mentality, is this:
When things go good, we take responsibility for it. When things go bad, we don’t take responsibility for it. It’s easier to blame someone else for the bad things in our lives and play the victim. We never learn, we never correct ourselves, and we always blame outside forces for our misfortunes in life.
Rather than playing the victim and blaming everyone else for your misfortunes, you first need to accept these negative things that come your way. From there, you can learn to take credit for them and eventually change them entirely.
The power of your future entirely lays in the palm of your hands, not someone else’s.
Overcoming the victim mentality is critical to life progression. Without overcoming playing the victim, you will live your entire life blaming others and just wishing for someone to come and fix them back up. Listen to me very closely…
That will never happen. Not now, not yesterday, and sure as hell not tomorrow.
Stop being a victim, own up to your mistakes, learn from them, and most importantly; own that shit. Own every mistake and every victory that you create for yourself. The gratification you get by overcoming something yourself without help of others is much more meaningful then any help you will ever receive, trust me.
Before you continue, you must see if you suffer from the evil victim mentality that many people have been raised into thinking is a fine way of life. Here are the common “symptoms” of the victim mentality:
Symptoms of Victim Mentality
- Thinking someone owes you something (Unless of course you lent them money, then you should go collect!)
- Waiting for people to fix your issues
- Believing something or someone will figure it all out for you
- Trusting that the universe will bring you what you want
If you can relate to just one of these things, I’ve got bad news: you’ve got the victim mentality. Luckily, this post is going to help you overcome this mentality and hopefully stop it dead in it’s tracks.
The following 11 practical ways will teach you how to stop being a victim and living life on your own terms, because that’s all this really is about at the end of the day.
Being a owner of your life and not a victim is all about living life on your own terms. Not letting others dictate the bad or good in your life, but rather leaving it up to you to decide what you want, when you want it.
Without further or do (sorry for taking so long, I just need you to understand how bad being a victim can hinder your life), here are those 11 practical tips that will free you from being a victim of life.
1. Be thankful for who you’ve became
Without all of your past experiences, you wouldn’t be the magnificent person that you are today.
Every little thing, decision, and influence we have throughout our lives shapes who we become and have become to this very moment. Even what you experience now, tomorrow, and the next will shape who you are in 5 years from now.
Being thankful for everything, the good and the bad, for shaping you into the person you are today is a great way to move forward with your life and actually be grateful for everything that has passed through in your life. Be thankful of who you are, and how you got there.
2. Learn to say no
Often times we try to please everyone by saying yes, yes, and more yes. But afterwards we complain and feel like we HAD to say yes and there was no other option but to say yes.
This will lead you to believe that you are being used, or better yet a victim, and that you had no choice and it’s all the other persons fault.
You always have a choice, you can say no. You can say and do whatever you want, not when other people want when they so please. Once you realize that you aren’t controlled by others and you control your life, you will stop saying yes so much and start doing stuff that you enjoy and not the other way around.
3. Be afraid of being a victim
What if you were afraid of becoming, and even worse staying a victim? Being afraid of something typically makes us avoid it, and in most situations I’d say face your fears, but when it comes to being a victim I’d say be very afraid.
Think about this: if you were afraid of becoming a victim of life, then you will avoid taking on the victim mentality. Here are some reasons you should be afraid of obtaining the victim mentality:
- It keeps you from taking risks. If you become a victim of life, you will be afraid of taking risks because you will think the world is against you and that nothing will work out for you. Remember this; life is all on you. Nothing dictates your future more than you do and you should always be taking calculated risks. ‘Risk it for the biscuit’ as they say.
- You think being a victim is okay. Well listen, it’s not. But whatever mindset we are in, except for a healing mindset, we typically think we are right and our thoughts are considered the “right ones.” Hopefully this post will put you into a healing mindset, which allows you realize you are not where you want to be, understanding that your thoughts or habits are flawed, but you accept them and make a push to fix them.
- Gaining the wrong type of attention. While you can gain attention by playing a victim of all external forces, it’s not the kind of attention you want. That’s like when a company gets a bad rep for awful public relation skills, that company really doesn’t want it. You want the kind of attention that companies strive for, positive. Attention that will let you grow and prosper, just like a business does when they get positive attention pointed at them.
Be afraid of it, avoid it, and you will surely start being accountable for how your life is going to pan out.
4. Take some serious responsibility for your life
It’s one thing to say you are going to take responsibility for your life, but often times people disregard this and continue being a victim of everything anyways.
Don’t fall into that trap, don’t allow yourself to put others at fault of your life.
Take some responsibility for your life, realize that whether you like it or not, you are the major reason where you are in life at this point. Of course, bad things come our ways that we seriously can’t control and I get that, I completely relate to you on that. But when it comes to your income, your state of mine, and really anything, it’s all on you.
Once you become an adult, and even before if you aren’t there yet, it’s time to let your negative past go. It’s time to take control over it, and rather than being a victim of all your life experiences, be a survivor. After all, it’s all on you now to craft the life you never imagined possible.
5. Obtain some gratitude for every life experience
It’s nearly impossible to play a victim when you are grateful for everything you’ve been and are still going through.
By allowing yourself to learn a lesson from every experience and be grateful to have learned something new from it, you allow the opportunity of a victim mentality to pass. Instead, you will slowly pickup a mentality of continuous learning of all life experiences.
And a continuous learning lifestyle will never hurt you, it will only make you a better and stronger person on the daily.
6. Forgive others for you, not them
Forgiveness can be a great way to get over your past. But don’t forgive them for their benefits and ease of mind, forgive them for yourself. Allow yourself to accept whatever happened and that you will no longer let them be a part of or control and part of your life, mentally or physically.
Forgive, sort of forget, and you will feel freed from your past.
7. Be selfless and help out others
Instead of focusing your energy on yourself and how life has done this, that, and the next to you, how about being selfless and helping out other people?
Whatever that may entail; volunteering, feeding the homeless, or really anything you come up with.
This will give you a new perspective on life, one in which giving enlightens you. Give to others, and you will surely get something in return. Whatever it is, I’m unsure of but I can promise it will be something good.
8. Learn to accept your failures
By learning to accept failures as your mistakes and rather someone else’s, you will avoid the feelings of the victim mentality.
Failing is normal, and if you aren’t failing a lot you probably aren’t going to succeed much (if at all) either. Failures lead us to successes, it’s just a part of the journey. The sooner you understand this concept, or rather a fact of life, you will stop being a victim and actually take pride in your mistakes.
Just remember, the bigger the failures the bigger the successes you will reap down the line. Just wait it out my friend! 🙂
9. Carve out a new path for yourself
Instead of living the same life you have been for practically your entire life, it might be time to switch things up a bit.
Start chasing the dream job you wouldn’t mind waking up to do. Start chasing the dream relationship you would fall in love with. Start chasing a mentality in which you are responsible and accountable for everything that comes your way.
Carving out a new path for yourself can mean a multitude of things for everyone. Just find out what you can do differently that will ultimately lead to a mindset switch. Because the goal of this is to let go of your past thinking and carve out a new life and mindset for yourself.
10. Take a look at your attitude
Often times people think they are owed something from life. I laugh at the thought of that (*prepare for evil laugh*), but it’s true believe it or not.
People think they are owed something from the universe.
You’re in for a rude awakening if you are one of those people. But typically people don’t realize it because it’s a semi-unconscious thought of being owed something. They think they are deserving of their hopes and dreams for seriously no reason other than being alive on this planet.
You’ve got to work for it, no one (or thing) will hand it to you. Every successful person out there has worked their asses off to get there, and if you think you will get the same for free, you are better off switching up your attitude towards life. Once you do, you will be able to start creating the life you’ve wished for through some sweat equity and hard work.
11. Make a conscious decision to get rid of your victim mentality
Just get over it, a popular line some people like to use.
Just getting over it can be tough, but if that’s what you want and how you deal with things, it might be the most practical tip for you on this list.
Getting over the victim mentality and making a conscious decision to put an end to it immediately can be all you need. You’ve just got to want it, like with anything. When quitting smoking, the smoker has to want it. When quitting a drug, the user must want to change for the better.
Keyword there is want, you’ve got to want it. No one else can want it for you, as only you will change once you make the conscious decision to do so. So do yourself a favor and figure out a real deep reason on why you are sick of having a mentality of a victim, and purge it from your life.
There you have it, 11 ways on how to stop being a victim and how to start taking some accountability for your life.
It’s on you now to live your life, not anyone else’s. You are in control of where you go, how you get there, and what you do when you finally do reach the end goal.
Stop being a victim of every little thing that doesn’t go your way in life, and you’ll be just fine!
I have a question for you: has this post helped you in any way to help you overcome the victim mentality? If so, what exactly helped? I’d love to hear!